05/22/2012

I really want to go to a new place and start a new life. I've screwed up so many things in the past and it's not that I don't want to fix it, but it's just that even if you try to fix it, it either would make things worse than it needs to be, or it'll just make things more complicated and annoying. If I could, then I would just lie on a very comfortable bed, have food sent to me whenever I'm hungry, and just not do anything, unless I feel like it, and wait until I die. I don't care if my brain will start to "decay" or lose function. I just want to really relax and not worry about anything that I've screwed up, or anything that I can possibly screw up in the future. I'm really sick and tired of all the stress and annoying things that have happened. Sometimes, I really envy those people who seem like they have no stress and live happily. It's probably because they can deal with stress more than I can. I really wish I can get rid of all the red spots I've made in the past and restart my life. If I could, then I would really be a totally different person and will never do those stupid mistakes that I've done before.