03/29/2012

Tomorrow is the day! The day of prom, the day of Biology and Geometry midterm exam. But, a very big big big but. I'm sick and I have a fever. I won't be able to go to school tomorrow and to be honest, i'm very worried. Normally, I do better when I take tests together with friends or classmates, because when I take the tests alone, I often lose focus during the tests and will often get lower grades. Also, since there is a one-week break after tomorrow, I wonder if teachers will let me take the test afterwards and not take off points. Today, I stayed at home too, and people may think that I was studying the whole day today, but no. Last night, I barely slept. My running nose kept me from sleeping, since I had to wake up and blow it out. And throughout the day, even when I had a bad headache, I couldn't fall asleep, just because the pain was too unbearable. I tried to do some studying, but the words just went in my brain and then came right out again. I hope that tomorrow I'll feel better because I really need to go to prom, and I don't want to be feeling horrible there, not being able to have fun and enjoy myself. 

03/28/2012

By today, we're basically almost done with all the midterms, leaving me only 2 more to go. The Geometry one, I'm not that worried about it, since to be honest, this chapter is easier than the previous chapters to me. And in the previous chapters, I did quite well, so I'm actually not as worried about it as to how much I'm worrying about Biology. In total, we'll be tested on nine chapters, from chapter 16 to 24. And I only have the memory of the last three chapters, because the teacher has been teaching it in this week. Today I tried to study Biology, but then just by looking at the study guide, I knew directly that there wouldn't be enough time to study all the chapters. To be honest, I'm panicking a bit, but then, what can I do about it? Tomorrow, I don't feel like going to school, since first of all, there isn't going to be a midterm exam tomorrow, and second of all, I really feel like I need some more sleep and time to study than I'm having now. The last reason is because I feel like I'm catching a cold, since I've just sneezed for almost 10 times I think in the past one minute. 

03/27/2012

Tomorrow, I have an expository writing midterm and an english midterm. I'm worried about both actually, because first of all, I don't know whether there will be like 100 questions again on the english midterm like before, and that I really think that the stories are quite hard to understand. Also, for expository writing, we'll be tested on five parts, including a five paragraph essay about analyzing a poem, one paragraph writing about cause and effect, the steps of writing an essay, the parts of an outline, and the definition of the parts of the outline. They aren't really that hard, but the analyzing poem and writing a five paragraph on it, that's crazy. Just simply analyzing a poem that you've seen in the first sight without being able to do some research on it. Also, not being able to type it up is annoying to me too, since I have horrible hand writing and my hand gets sore really easily after writing for a long time and writing a lot. And for English, I'm worried because I'm still not really familiar with the stories on the night before the test, so even though I'll be reading over the stories again later, I worry that the situation won't be better. 

03/26/2012

The only thing that I want to do now is to just sit on my bed, and meditate. Actually, I've started on this post at 10 PM, and it's already 12:40 AM. It took me a long time to shower today, because there are too many things that are jammed in my brain, and it took me a while to try to get things straight and have things sorted in my brain, and put ideas and thoughts in places where they should be in. And finally after I had my mind sorted, I had a lot of "butterflies" to cut, which are needed for student council for the prom. It took me a long time, because I was also memorizing the vocabulary for the English midterm that is coming up on Wednesday. I'm actually very worried about the midterm, because the stories that are going to be in the test are really new and we aren't familiar with them enough yet to be ready for a midterm on them. And I really can't believe that I'm still procrastinating on the midterm week. It's 12:53 AM, actually, 12:56 AM already, and I'm not done with this blog post. And actually, I'm really not sleepy yet, at all. I guess having my mind going through meditation today was right. I feel happy and relaxed now, and I hope that tomorrow will be a good day for me! :)

03/25/2012

Tomorrow is the first day of the midterm testing week. To be honest, I feel that this time I didn't really study. Although I slept really later last night, around 3 AM, but it wasn't because I was studying. I finished doing my homework already at around 1 AM, but when I turned off my computer and went to bed, I suddenly had that meditating moment, and when I came out of the meditation, I looked at my phone and found out that it was already 3 AM. And as soon as I lay my head on the pillow, I fell asleep. And this morning, my mom woke me up an hour earlier than usual, but still, I fell back asleep until 10:40. And throughout the whole day, I only ate, slept, and went to Costco for a bit, and did nothing else. Oh, I did finish revising my essay and did read over the chapter that we'll be tested on in Expository Writing tomorrow, but seriously, other than that, I was just fooling around the whole day today. And thinking about it now, I'm quite nervous about the upcoming tests. I hope that I'll do good, even though I've been slacking off. 

03/22/2012

Today, the people that take part in the musical production this year have been notified that there will be a rehearsal next Friday after lunch. I agree that we should find a day for rehearsal, but seriously. On that day? The day of prom? No one wants to go to prom looking like crap. So with the rehearsal being set on that day, I believe that many people won't be wanting to go and so, why should the school be setting the date of rehearsal on a day that no one would be really focusing and are all worried about not having enough time to dress up. And also, going to prom  would take up a lot of energy. If we still do the rehearsal, people will be tired and won't have as much fun in the prom. And also for the juniors' SAT test that day, I really for sorry for them. I wouldn't be able to concentrate and stay focused during the test. Also, the juniors are supposed to be looking really good for prom that day, but having that test that takes up 4 hours or preparation time, leaving only 2 hours for them to dress up, everyone will be rushing and might even be late for prom. Being late to prom would lead to delaying of the schedule which in the end, would lead to a not-as-fun prom. 

03/21/2012

Today, we're basically sure about what subjects we'll be tested on next week. I don't know if I should say, fortunately, or unfortunately, I have 4 midterms. I know that some people have more than I do, but the ones that I'll be test on, English, Spanish, Expository Writing, and Biology include three of the most annoying subjects that I'll have to spend a lot of time studying on if there is a test about it. The three subjects that bother me the most in these four are English, Spanish and Biology. Although normally I do quite well in Spanish class, this time we're having an oral exam, which scares me, because even though I normally do quite well on paper exams, it's because I have the time to think and have space to write to make my brain function. But on oral exams, I not only won't have the time to think, I don't have the paper for me to figure things out too. And for English, the materials that will be tested on are basically all going to be taught in the near future, but next week is already the finals, I don't know and I don't think that we'll be able to fully understand the stories before the exams. And the same goes for Biology. The chapters include chapter 16 to 24, but the teacher hasn't taught chapter 23 and 24 yet. I wonder how we'll the students can do good on the exams. 

03/20/2012

Next week, it's the midterm week. To be honest, I'm quite worried about it. First of all, the English part. Although there aren't that many vocabulary this quarter, but just simply the poetry unit is one big obstacle for all of us already, and adding the other sections, I personally think that the stories that we're reading this quarter is already harder than the previous ones that we learned before. I don't want to drop all the grades this semester, and I want to keep my As there, and for the Bs, I want to pull them all up, even though it's really hard to be pulling Bs up to As by using the midterm grades. The other subject that I'm very worried about is Biology. The range is so big this time, including 9 chapters and 2 of them, the teacher will be teaching them starting from next class. I don't believe that anyone would be able to digest that quickly, and be able to study for 9 whole chapters of Biology within then time of a little more than a week. And the material that is covered this time is really a lot harder and since the previous midterm and final were mostly on the quizzes that gave beforehand, but this quarter, there rarely were any quizzes, so it's actually really hard to have anything to base the studying on. 

03/19/2012

Tomorrow, there is a biology project due. No one really started on it before today, other than some of the more hard working students, which of course doesn't include me. In fact, I just finished taking the photos a few minutes ago. Also, for the English test that we got back today, I'm not really satisfied with the grades, because I can't accept having a B on English, since I've been having As throughout most of my times when I'm studying in PAS. I know that I've been slacking off, and that many of my quizzes are getting unusually low scores. It's not only happening in English class, but also in Biology, which is very obvious. I used to have grades that are above 90%, but now, the quiz grades have dropped to the lowest, 60%. These aren't acceptable, but I just don't have the motivation to do anything. I don't feel like studying, I don't feel like practicing my oboe, and I don't feel like practicing swimming. All I want to do is to lie on the bed until I die, and do nothing. I know it's impossible, but really, I don't feel any motivation on anything and I'm basically losing faith in myself and I've been giving up a lot of great opportunities for me to grow up and learn, and I'm still giving up some other ones. I don't know what's going on with me, but I guess I'll have to get over it soon. 

03/18/2012

What do you do, when you really miss a person that it hurts already, but you know that it's impossible for that person to be at your side right away, and that that person can't even be online for you because of the time difference and parents issue. It's also really annoying when there are a lot of other interferences that keeps getting into the way. It's only 11 o'clock and I have nothing to do. I wonder if I should be going to sleep but 11 o'clock is the time when people start to more free to chat and I will have more fun chatting with. Actually, just because of that reason, I've spent more than 15 minutes on chatting, which I shouldn't have. I guess I'll go to sleep after I finish this blog post and finish the episode of "How I Met Your Mother" I didn't want to watch it before because when I started to want to watch it, there were too many seasons and episodes, which I felt that it would take up too much time to catch up. But now, after the persuasion from friends, I think that it would be good enough for me to spend the time to watch. 

03/15/2012

Today, I don't think that I need to sleep. I have three tests tomorrow, though one of them is a so-called quiz. But even though it's only said to be a quiz, on that subject, I'm having a really low grade, which didn't happen in the previous quarters. This isn't a good sign, because I know that I've been slacking off a bit, but I didn't know that it would cause such a big difference. So now, every single small quiz matters a lot to me and I really want to pull up my grades. The other two are tests, so obviously they matter a lot and I really can't afford to have a low score on any test right now. Another thing that is making me a bit annoyed is the poetry contest today. I didn't care much about it before, but today, after really competing against others, I wanted to win. After knowing that I lost to Elvis, I felt a feeling of depression come up, but I had to quickly hide it and congrats him. Afterwards, when I think about it, I really felt that it wasn't really fair. No offense to the ESL people, but I think that they should compete among themselves, so that the level is about the same and the judges won't think about the amount of effort spent into each poem and the knowledge that each student has. 

03/14/2012

My arms are very very very very x infinite times sore right now because of swim practice today. I've been lazy for quite a while and I haven't swam seriously in swim team since probably the swim competition last time. Today, our coaches told us that we will be having a competition in Taipei, probably against the other American/ International school's students. So, we had serious practice today, and we had to push ourselves. Whenever we meet the practice that we have to really push ourselves to finish, I know that when I get home, my arms or legs will be really sore. Normally, including today, my arms hurt more than my legs because I think that my legs are a lot stronger than my arms. Anyways, the thing that is in my mind now is the poetry test in English class tomorrow. Today we had an open book quiz, and it was super hard. After class when we talked about it, almost everyone said that it was really hard and didn't know how to do many questions. I hope that the test tomorrow won't be this hard, and also that the poems will be more easier to understand somehow. 

03/13/2012

Today when I went to school, I felt like I was about to die because of the headache. And I not only had a serious headache, I was so sleepy but I had a stomach ache last night so I wasn't able to fall asleep right away, and I woke up several times in the morning. So, when I woke up this morning, I really didn't want to go to school. But my mom said that I had to go to school today, so when I arrived at school, I really was dying. I went to Ms. Sue and asked if I could rest for a bit. I slept there, and when I woke up, it was when one of my friends came in and asked me if I was ok, and I found that it was almost the end of the second period already. I almost jumped off the bed, because I really didn't hear the bell at all, and when other people texted me asking if I was ok, I really didn't wake up. I feel like a pig right now. And because of this, I feel like I've been wasting a lot of money today, since we pay so much to come to school, but I spent the whole morning sleeping in the clinic. If I sleep only for the first period, I would feel better, no offense to my teacher, but because even when I go to class, I won't really pay full attention either. 

03/12/2012

Today I really didn't want to go to school. I had insomnia last night and I couldn't fall asleep until some time around 3:30 in the morning. I did nothing meanwhile. All I could do was sit on my bed, thinking about what I could do to make me fall asleep. At first, I got so bored that I started playing games on my phone, thinking that I might fall asleep after a while. But later on, I got bored out by the games too, so I started to call people and talk on the phone for quite a while. When it turned 3, everyone wanted to go to sleep but I still couldn't sleep. I sat on the bed for a while and finally fell asleep after half an hour. It was a painful day that passes today. In classes, I had a hard time trying to stay awake and focus. Also, I had to skip swim practice because I really had a bad headache that I couldn't stand going to swim in the cold water. Also, they planned on playing ball there, but I got so dizzy that I couldn't stand. I decided to not even go and I went to eat porridge. Porridge is the only food that I like to eat when I'm sick because they taste good and are easy to swallow even if I have a soar throat. 

03/11/2012

These days I really don't feel like going to school and I don't know why. I don't feel any motivation to go to school anymore. It's not really a good thing because I've been slacking off on school work and some of my grades have obviously dropped by quite a bit. This isn't good. At all. Another thing that has been in my mind is the poetry contest. The finalists before were Angela, Allen, and Elvis. But last time in the email that Ms. Sherry sent to the whole school, the title of the poem that was listed beside Angela's name was mine, so we went to ask the school if there was a mistake. When we asked Mr. Dahl, he said that I was the one that's supposed to be in the finalists. I really don't want to read my poem, a poem about me sleeping in history class, in front of the whole school. Also, the other thing that made me not really happy about this is that I know that Angela really cares about this contest, and I feel like I took away something that belongs to her. If the school didn't make that mistake, she probably would feel better. It's like having someone take away something that is supposed to be mine, and especially how I might have been celebrating it the night before I found out it doesn't belong to me. 

03/08/2012

Oh gosh. I finally finished Annie's birthday card. Even though I've been working on it for months, I kind of lacked the motivation a few weeks ago and left all the work to the end. Today, I've been working on it since I got home and I haven't started on any homework other than this blogpost yet. I wonder when I'll be able to sleep tonight, since I have a Spanish quiz tomorrow that includes three grammar tenses and around 90 vocabulary for me to study. I'm already really tired because of sleeping really late these days and being too hyperactive at school. I've found out that actually when you have really little sleep, you become really hyperactive at school. I don't know the scientific reason for this, but I find it really cool although I know it's not a good thing to be staying too late. I hate how I know that I shouldn't be staying up late, but sometimes I just can't fall asleep even when I don't have work to do. I feel that I shouldn't be wasting time on sleeping, since there are only 24 hours everyday, and everyday, there are a lot of things that should be done but aren't being done. I'm not a person that thinks that sleeping is really important 

03/07/2012

Today I finally went to swim team practice. I haven't been swimming since the swimming competition, which was around three weeks ago. The good thing was that all the people that can swim really fast and are skilled weren't able to go, and one of them forgot to bring her swimsuit. This is actually quite funny because she brought her whole swimming bag but forgot the most important thing, the swim suit. I wonder what she was thinking when she was preparing her bag, having all the not as important things but not the most important one. Anyways, since all the fast swimmers didn't go today, it was quite relaxing and I had exercise and had fun. Also, since I am really in a bad mood these days, and I love swimming when I'm sad, after the practice today, I felt a lot better. I think that the main reason why I like swimming when I'm sad is because I love how when you're in the water, everything seems to be quiet and everything that makes you sad will disappear into the water. The other primary reason is because the people that are in swim team are people that I trust a lot and we talk about everything that makes me sad. I really enjoy swimming and I love the people that are in swim team! 

03/06/2012

It's almost Annie's birthday, and the card I'm giving her is really special and I don't think that anyone in PAS has ever made one like this before. So, many people have already been writing birthday cards on hard boards, with photos glued on it. At first, I wanted to do something similar to that, but then I felt that too many have been doing that already and it won't feel special anymore. So, I started to go dig up a lot of pictures of us, from the first picture that we took together, to the most recent ones. I've actually started on this since around September or October. So, I dug up around 30 pictures of us that are memorable, and glued them onto a board, then cut them all off. Then, behind the cards, I would be writing about what happened at that time. This is a really good kind of card I think. People will know how much effort you put into the card and the cards will bring them the good memories that they spent with you. When you some day leave them, they can be looking back at these cards, seeing both your words and the pictures. I hope she'll like this card and the gift I got her!

03/05/2012

Today could be one of my really bad days in my life, since first of all, the most important person in my life has left, we had a History test and I hope that I didn't screw it up because I started studying at 12 last night for it, I was feeling really sick and uncomfortable today, I lost one of my books, I have a whole big pile of homework waiting for me and I have been really sleepy since I came home today. Wow. After typing all that out and going back reading through all of it, I really think that this is such a horrible day I'm having, and all I want to do right now is to close my eyes and go to sleep forever, not waking up to face the reality, with piles of homework to be doing and loads of things to be worrying about. I really want to just throw everything away and take a rest. At least for one minute, just let me be free from all the stress and annoying things. Now, even when I try to close my eyes and not think about anything, in my mind, there are still things that run around, not letting me relax. Even when I'm sleeping, I often have dreams that makes me feel sad and stressed out when I wake up. 

03/04/2012

Tomorrow is the day when one of my best friends, and one of the most important one of them is leaving Taiwan to the States. I'm already over the stage of crying all day and night already. That was so last week haha. But still, whenever I remember the fact that we won't be able to meet for around three years, that makes me really depressed. Annie said that when she was young, she used to have a really close friend because they spend all of the class time and after school time together. And when her friend had to move to the States, they were really sad, just like how I feel right now, but they said that they will Skype and keep in touch. At the beginning, they did Skype every week, but slowly, it became once in two weeks, and in the end, they didn't Skype anymore. I don't want me and that person to end up like that. I'll be really sad if I know that we'll end up like that, since he's super important to me. Another thing that I'm sad about now is that the second most important person in my life will be graduating soon too. There's only a few more than 90 days left. Gosh. I guess I have to learn to deal with people leaving my life. 

03/01/2012

I've found out that the lesser homework that we have, the more we procrastinate. Today, I barely had any homework. All I really needed to do was my Spanish homework, which was only three pages, and study for a Biology quiz about Bacteria for tomorrow. But when I got home, I just sat in front of my computer, and starting Facebooking, thinking that there's still a lot of time for me, so today, I even watched many episodes of "New Girls". It's a really good and funny American TV show. It came out last year, and so far there's only around 15 episodes. I've been quite busy for a few weeks, and wasn't able to watch the newest episodes right when they come out, and when I miss out once, I get lazy or I forget to go back and watch it. This blog post took me hours to finish, due to the little amount of homework that I have today, which is the reason why I'm procrastinating this much. I'm really sleepy again right now but because my really bad mood, I can't fall asleep. Sometimes, Facebook isn't a good thing, not only because of how people get addicted to it, but also, sometimes, people will see things that they don't want to see. Those things that will change your emotions a lot are really annoying, especially when you see them this late at night.