05/31/2012

I really am giving up on the Biology finals tomorrow. We have 10 chapters to study for, and according to my friend, there are more than 200 pages to study. It is just impossible to have all those pages read through and have the important parts memorized in one night. It's not about procrastination. It's about how there are also other classes, not only Biology, and I think that the teacher should be aware of that. We have a life. Other than studying, we still have other things to worry about and other things to be doing, especially how we have all the other subject's final exams to be prepared for. And seriously, 10 chapters? I really think that this amount of work load isn't reasonable. It is nearly impossible to study for this much of information and the teachers just keep telling us to sleep early, yet they still give out this much of work and such a big amount of things to study for. They blame us for procrastinating, but have they ever thought about how much other things we need to do? The school wants us to be a well-rounded individual, yet all we have time to do, is to study, study, and study. It's already 11 PM and really doubt that I can sleep tonight. 

05/30/2012

I finally got my camera! I've been wanting to buy a new camera for a long time. And the kind I wanted wasn't those normal digital ones. I wanted the more professional ones. I still don't really know how to use it, but I'm going to get better at it by practicing more and being brave and not afraid to change modes to see the effects. Also, since there are so many people in our school who are really into and really know information about photography, I might as well just ask them how they take some of their pictures. I'm really excited about it, and today when I got it, I tried taking pictures with it. But it's so much harder than I thought and very different from the digital cameras. I had issues with the focusing already and after around 10 shots, I think I've found the way to focus the camera on the object that I want to take a picture of. If it weren't finals week this week, I might just go outside and take more pictures and try out more things about it. Speaking of finals week, I'm pretty sure I'm pretty much dead for the Biology part. We're going to be tested on 10 chapters and I haven't started preparing for it yet and the test is on Friday. 

05/29/2012

It really doesn't feel like finals week. Yes, people have been using the "busy icon" on Skype, but still. The way people are acting at school is just hard to relate to the thought of "it's finals week". There isn't much change. People still stay after school to fool around in the hallways or hang out in the cafeteria or sofa area. It does feel a bit different because the seniors don't need to come to school anymore, so there has been fewer people in school. It doesn't do much change to me since I only have one class that has only 3 seniors included if you don't count "Stage Art" as one. And normally, I don't listen to music when I'm studying for exams, but today, I've been enjoying way too much music than I'm supposed to. It's really weird and funny how I'm actually really awake now and it's already 11 PM. I guess it's because I slept at 9 PM last night. It's been years since I've slept at 9 PM in a regular school day. When I woke up this morning, I felt so accomplished and even though I was still a bit tired from staying up till 2 or 3 for the weekends, I had an energetic day and I think that after my finals, I'll be sleeping at 9 everyday. 

05/27/2012

Even though it's almost finals, I don't feel the feeling of being in that stage of time. Normally, before these big mid-terms or finals, people start to change their Skype statuses into the "busy sign", but today, only a few people did. Also, I really don't see people online till really late these days. I've been staying up till 2 or 3 these two days and people have been going to sleep pretty early. And today, since I really couldn't feel the feeling of being in the state of "near finals", I woke up at around 12 o'clock and spent almost all of my afternoon and night outside. And now I really don't want to talk about finals since I'm 100% not prepared for them. A happy thing that happened to me is that I've done 120 sit ups yesterday and hoola hooped for around 20 minutes while memorizing my lines for Romeo and Juliet. I want to lose some more weight as soon as possible since there are many events coming up for me. I have a concert to go to, which I'm really looking forward to, since the singer is just absolutely hot and cute and all of those positive adjectives that you can use to describe a man, and also about going to America this summer. I want to look good and enjoy myself more when I'm there! 

05/24/2012

I just realized that I forgot to do this journal yesterday. I was flooded with piles of homework and things to study for. In this week, we have had three tests in total, although I haven't taken one because I was absent. On Monday, there was a grammar test; on Tuesday, there was supposed to have a Geometry test but I wasn't there that day; on Wednesday, I was free from tests, though on Thursday, which is today, we had a really hard test about The Odyssey. It's probably one of the hardest reading material that I've read since a long time. Well actually, the play of Romeo and Juliet got me quite frustrated too. It's just that the language in poetry and the medieval or renaissance times are too different from the language that we're using nowadays. It takes around 5 or more times of time to understand it compared to the time you spend to read just a normal novel nowadays. Sometimes, you might not even understand it unless you go and read the translation or have someone translate it for you. I was really happy that I got every question right today for this English test, and now, the real thing that I'm worried about is the Biology final. It will include 9 chapters and we aren't allowed to bring in any notes or any assisting materials, and in class, no one really was listening to the teacher and the homework don't require us to fully understand what the chapter is talking about. I'm really worried about it and yet I still hope to do good on it!

05/22/2012

I really want to go to a new place and start a new life. I've screwed up so many things in the past and it's not that I don't want to fix it, but it's just that even if you try to fix it, it either would make things worse than it needs to be, or it'll just make things more complicated and annoying. If I could, then I would just lie on a very comfortable bed, have food sent to me whenever I'm hungry, and just not do anything, unless I feel like it, and wait until I die. I don't care if my brain will start to "decay" or lose function. I just want to really relax and not worry about anything that I've screwed up, or anything that I can possibly screw up in the future. I'm really sick and tired of all the stress and annoying things that have happened. Sometimes, I really envy those people who seem like they have no stress and live happily. It's probably because they can deal with stress more than I can. I really wish I can get rid of all the red spots I've made in the past and restart my life. If I could, then I would really be a totally different person and will never do those stupid mistakes that I've done before. 

05/21/2012

I'm thinking about whether I should go to school or not. It's obvious that I'm sick now because of the rain in the Spring Fair yesterday, and I have two tests tomorrow. I don't want to do bad on them because I'm not feeling well and wasn't able to prepare for them as thoroughly as I could have. I'm literally dying in my mucus. I can't breathe through my nose and I just won't stop sneezing and sniffing. It's really uncomfortable and I really can't focus on any work, not even watching my favorite show, 90210, or even chatting with my friends. Now, I'm getting a headache, and it's only 10:23 but I'm already falling asleep. I'm listening to party music now, hoping that I can wake up. It's annoying because I haven't started to study for the two tests that I have tomorrow. The only two reasons that I might want to go to school tomorrow is because after our Spanish test, our teacher said that she can teach us to cook some other Spanish food. It's always really attractive to me to be learning how to cook those food. The other reason is that if I go to school tomorrow, I'll go to eat at a restaurant which I really like with my friends. 

05/20/2012

Today could be counted as one of the most exhausting days that I've had in a few months. It was Spring fair in the morning, and when I got there, it was already raining but I didn't know that it would be raining that strong later on. My shoes were entirely soaked in mud and water and my I could feel the coldness of the rain and mud on my feet. This time, because of the rain, everything felt really chaotic. First, we took other grade's table and ice chest, and then we found out that no one really knows how to wrap a burrito, and that in the end, we thought that we ran out of tortillas, but actually, we still had two more packs, but we just didn't see them. We even walked all the way to a place kind of like a department store to buy the skin of it, but because they didn't have Mexican kinds, we had to buy the Taiwanese kinds that we had to cook before we could sell them. But those were really hard to cook because they stick on the pan even after we put oil. In the end, we didn't earn as much money as we expected, and not as much as we did last year. Last year, we earned around 20 thousand, and this year, we only nearly reached 10 thousand. 

05/17/2012

Tomorrow we're having a Spanish test. In every chapter, there are two sections and I thought that our test would only be on the second section, but at night, when I confirmed with Annie and the teacher, they told me that it'll be on the whole chapter, I nearly screamed. I stayed at school until some time around 7PM and got home really late. I fell asleep till around 9 o'clock. When I woke up and saw the clock, I was surprised. One hour passed so quickly and it felt like it was only 15 minutes. I quickly got off the bed and started to study. I started on the vocabulary first since I'm normally better on memorizing those. After totaling the amounts of vocabulary that I have to memorize, I kind of wanted to give up. In total, there were 71 to memorize. But then I thought on the positive side. I've memorized most of them before, and now, all I have to do is to review them all and I was pretty sure that I'll get them memorized quite quickly. Fortunately, I'm done memorizing them now already, but I haven't started on reviewing the grammar. In this whole chapter, there are six different tenses to study for, and now, I should get going to go study those. 

05/16/2012

One day, my body will crash if I continue to be sleeping this late and not having healthy meals regularly. It's just that it's just hard to be sleeping early since I have so much stuff to do and with all the pressure, sometimes it's just hard to fall asleep directly after I get on bed. I really want to be going to sleep earlier but I guess it's just hard to go to sleep early when a lot of people are there, online, for you to chat with, and every time I start watching another episode of 90210, I just can't stop watching after the hook at the end of each episode. Each day, I watch at least 3 episodes and I'm storming through them. It's kind of sad because it feels like I have no life but to watch all the TV episodes. I want to hang out with friends and freedom just like the people in Beverly Hills have. I kind of envy the life of them in these shows other than all the dramatic things that happen to each of them and how misunderstandings can turn out to the destruction of someone's life. But it's just that there are some things that are too complicated in their lives, with all the sexual life they're getting at the age of 15 or 16, the pregnant people, and the drugs. 

05/15/2012

Today I have like a lot of homework and the History one is especially hard and annoying since it requires you to fully understand the documentary that our teacher showed us in class, which is really hard to, because first of all, it was long. Second of all, it's just not entertaining to me. And third of all, I was really tired in class, and I know this isn't an excuse, but I couldn't concentrate and even though I was staring at the film, none of the information really went into my brain and of course none got digested and observed. It took me a long time and asked for a lot of help from my friends to explain things that got me confused. Also, I had to do a lot of research to make sure that things I'll get the 7 questions right and with enough details to get a good grade on it. Although 7 questions sound little, it's actually quite a lot by looking at how deep the questions are and how many "sub-questions" there are within each question. I spent a lot of time on it and I hope that I'll get a good grade on it. Now that I've been thinking about it again, I just realized that I haven't sent him my work yet. 

05/14/2012

I'm really getting addicted to the new version of 90210. I've just gotten over with "How I Met Your Mother" probably because I've watched all the episodes that have been played already. I've found out that actually American TV shows are a lot better than a lot of the Taiwanese ones. I've only watched a few different American TV shows and I'm liking them more than the Taiwanese ones that I've watched. A lot of the Taiwanese ones are too cheesy and a little bit too fake. The American ones are sometimes cheesy on those chick flick ones but they're still mostly really entertaining and even though I've just started watching "90210" 3 days ago, yet I've already been able to get up to episode 22 and i'm thinking that i'll probably finish all episodes of season 1, which would be around 24 episodes I think. It's really a entertaining show, but really different from "How I Met Your Mother". Also, when I finish this show, I think I'll be watching Pretty Littler Liars, and then Gossip Girls or probably The BIg Bang Theory. Now that I've listed these, I just realized that there are so many different good TV shows in America that I've never seen before. 

05/10/2012

Now that I've finished all the episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" which I enjoyed so much throughout all of the 7 seasons, just probably a little less in the sixth season. I had a tough time trying to decide which to watch between "90210", "Glee", "Gossip Girls" and "Pretty Little LIars". It was hard because I've heard from a lot of people that Pretty Little Liars was a great show about the life of high school students which have murders going on. I'm really into shows that have murders and suspenses like those. The second choice is Gossip Girls, because there has been a lot of compliments about that too, though I've heard some negative things about it too, but from what I've heard that it's about, I really like the story plot. Also, even though I heard that "Glee" doesn't have a lot of plot, but I know for a fact that there are a lot of really good singers and good songs which I love, because when I'm doing homework, I have to listen to music, or it'll feel weird. And also, 90210, is a really good TV show from what I've seen today. I've watched 5 episodes today and I really enjoyed it. It's about the life in Beverly Hills for teenagers, and I really like it so far. 

05/09/2012

Today I went swimming, and it was actually a lot easier and not as hard as before because first of all, we didn't swim that long distances like we did before, and we chatted a lot in between the gaps, which made it feel like we didn't swim that much and weren't as tired. It was really fun actually this time in which actually it was just the gossips made it fun. And since I went swimming after the 5-week break more regularly, I'm catching up more already. It feels really good to regain what I've lost, and even though it's not completely back yet, I've improved a lot already. One thing that I'm kind of annoyed about now is how my legs are still sore from the only 15 minutes shooting balls upstairs practice. I know that I don't often exercise on land because of my hurt knee from before that will feel painful when I over use them. So my on land muscles are really bad and I always have to wear a protection band around it which makes it really hot and feel lazy to exercise. Now, my parents bought an immovable bicycle and put it in front of the TV. I guess I'll be riding that bike more often now to make myself both lose weight and strengthen my muscles. 

05/08/2012

Oh My God. Why is there this much homework today? I'm really glad that I didn't have to go to my oboe class today because if I really went, I really doubt that I can have any sleep today. It's annoying how because I've told the teacher that I couldn't go to class several times lately because of all the homework load and the tests, and that now every time I do get a lot of homework and have to tell the teacher that I can't go, I feel really ashamed and I think that the teacher would really dislike me if I keep doing this, but the problem is that I'm not a really efficient worker and if I still go to that class, I'd be really tired and also that I'll be unable to complete my homework because i'd be too tired. Now that I've finished all the other homework other than this blog post and reading 10 pages of "The Odyssey", I still feel a bit nervous because the last time when I was reading it, I didn't really get all of it, and with 10 pages of that, I don't know if I can digest all of that at once and be ready for the possible "Reading Check" tomorrow. 

05/07/2012

And again, for like the 10 thousandth time, I don't know what to write about for today's blog/ journal. One different thing that happened is how we didn't have swim practice because our coach hurt his leg and wasn't able to drive us there. So, after fooling around for a while in our school, and then finding out that it's basically impossible for us to be studying at that time since we didn't really want to, and that there were people around us talking about gossip or chatting which make it even harder to concentrate. So then, we went upstairs to play basketball ball, which is just a total miracle for me, because I absolutely suck at it, and then of course, don't like to play it. But actually, it feels good to be sweating and running under the sun. It's been a long time since the last time that I did that. It just sucks how my knee always hurts afterwards which means that i can't always play basketball. So that's the reason why I'm a good swimmer. But then there's another bad thing about it, which is how I can't really follow and do all the dry land training with my teammates because I don't want to over work my knees and get them hurt again, and also I can't really dive because of it too. I have fear in my heart of getting hurt while jumping. 

05/06/2012

There are always those days when you feel really annoyed and depressed without knowing why. I guess it's just because there are too many things to be annoyed about in life. I know that I'm in a very good environment already and that I should be cherishing all these boons, but it's just hard to be happy when I'm already really annoyed and in a really bad mood. I think that one reason is because that the weather is really stuffy and hot, especially in my room. Another reason I think is because that tomorrow is Monday again and we have to go to school again. Each day that passes in this school makes me dislike it even more. I don't really know what happened to make it become like this. The only thing that can really cheer me up now is watching "How I Met Your Mother", but there are in total 7 Seasons while I'm already more than half way through. I'm planning on watching some other TV shows that can make me be happy again like this one is. Everyone that lives have to meet Barney Stinson. He's the most awesome person, yet the most perverted person possibly ever. 

05/03/2012

The more days I stay in this school, the more I don't like it, and the more I want to transfer to some other school. I was going to transfer to Morrison Academy in Taichung. I've heard that it's a really good school and when I went to look at their website, I found out that their swim team is really good! And the records that they've kept is really good. I really wanted to go, but when my parents called the school, they said that there won't be any empty spots for the rising sophomores. Although I was kind of depressed and disappointed when I learned about this fact, I remembered the night before the day that my mom planned to bring me to visit the school. That night, I was panicking about questions like "What if they don't like me?" "What if I can't fit in when I transfer?" "They all look so pretty in these pictures but I'm not... Will they don't want to be friends with me?" I was really scared for a while, so I figured that, probably not transferring would be a good decision too. I hate the feeling of being worried about questions like that, and even though transferring might make me happier, I still don't want to go through the process of fitting in. 

05/01/2012

Just right now I've realized that it's already May. It feels like a few weeks ago was just the leadership camp in Hualien. I don't want to be a junior yet. Looking at the juniors every year working so hard, yet getting yelled at almost everyday, it's just a life that I don't ever want to have. Although I'm a person that doesn't need a LOT of sleep, I still have to have a certain amount of sleep every week. According to some of the upperclassmen, if you want to get into a good school, there will always be many days that you can barely sleep. Also, I've heard that it's hard to even find time to squeeze the event "eating" in between the day. I hate those kind of times when you are totally stressed out and even though doing the best you can to get things done and have them done perfectly, you still get yelled at by people, telling you that you're not spending enough effort on the works. Can time please pass a little slower? I still want to enjoy my childhood. The time is taking my innocence away and forcing us to find out how disgusting reality is. Even the closest people beside you can suddenly turn back and stab you in the back some day.